Have you ever stopped to think about how you got your best friend?

You didn’t develop your best friendship right away. You built the relationship throughout a series of gestures. They did something nice for you, you did something thoughtful for them. They helped you out one day, you got them out of a bind the next.

You never kept score. When you gave, you weren’t secretly tallying your number of good deeds and weighing them against your friend. Best friends don’t keep score.

To get a best friend, be a best friend.

We understand how reciprocity works, and we know it’s how society functions. But armed with this understanding, we can get overly transactional.

“Here’s my good deed for the day, but I better see something in return real soon!”

We may not always say those words out loud, but we often think them.

That’s not generosity. That’s a transaction.

The moment a relationship becomes transactional is the moment it’s dead.

The 1-Step Formula to Building Relationships:

Give something of value with no strings attached. Expect nothing in return.