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If you want to be successful, you need to position yourself around success. I’m going to give you insights from the perspective of a mentor that will help you connect with the kinds of people you want to be around. I’ll also give you several ways to position yourself around success ONLINE.
You value what you pay for.
— Sean McCabe (@seanwes) May 1, 2014
- 02:46 3 types of people:
- Successful people.
- People who are not successful, but want to be.
- People who are not successful, and don’t want to be.
- 03:48 The #2 people need to position themselves around #1 people. That is it.
- You need to absorb the mindset.
- You need to absorb the habits.
- You need to absorb the mentality of successful people.
- 04:48 Are you hearing the key word in there? Mentality.
- 05:08 Success as perceived by the outside world is merely a visual manifestation of a pre-existing inner mindset.
- 05:27 To the world, “success” is the tip of the iceberg that they finally see—the tangible results that are visible. True success is everything below the surface on that iceberg—the stuff that’s been there all along.
- How Do I Find a Mentor?
- 06:15 The big question: How do I get around those #1 types of people? How do I find successful people to be around?
- 06:59 Let me break this down. The two places to look:
- People that are already outwardly successful.
- People you know that have a success mindset.
- 07:19 Most people don’t know to look for the second type. Those people aren’t apparent unless you’re looking for them. Reality hasn’t yet aligned with their mindset. You have to look for the signs.
- 08:27 The people that are going to be successful are working at it. They’re not wasting time. Those are the people you want to find and position yourself around.
- 09:24 If your daily activity doesn’t look different from what it has been leading up to now, how can you expect for your tomorrow to look any different?
- 10:33 Your metric of personal success should not be centered around outward results, but consistency in taking steps toward your goals:
- Did I make what I said I was going to make on time?
- Did I meet the output goal?
- Did I stay on schedule?
- Did I do the thing I was supposed to do today? If so, that’s a win.
- Getting With The 1st Kind – People that are already outwardly successful:
- 12:44 The only difference between the outwardly successful people and the people you know that have a success mindset is that for the outwardly successful people, reality has simply aligned with their mindset.
- 13:25 You actually have a much better chance of getting together with the people that have not yet had reality align with their mindset. They’re going to be a lot more available. Once they are outwardly successful, then everyone else begins to notice what was there all along and they are in high demand.
- 13:51 Here’s something I need to stress:
- If you want to be with someone you look up to, then offer compensation. OFFER TO PAY FOR THEIR TIME.
- 14:16 Always offer compensation to the person you’re wanting to be your mentor—the person you’re wanting to be around. They have the option to give it to you for free, but to presume that is disrespectful. You’re not unique. There are many people who want their time.
- “I’ve Been Following You” Is Not Currency
- 15:49 I’ve been really struggling lately. I have NUMEROUS requests sitting in my inbox. People wanting my time. They want my advice, they want to meet me locally, they want to have Skype calls with me, they want to have phone calls with me, they want my consultation on their project, they want my life advice for their situation.
- “I’ve been following you for awhile. I’m working on this thing. Here’s something I made for it. Go check out this thing I wrote. What I’m thinking about doing is this [insert wall of text]. I’m looking to build something like this [more wall of text]. I know you’ve built similar things and you have experience, so I have some questions about the back-end of your site. Could you give me some advice on that and tell me how you did this stuff. What will I need to do this, how much will I need to do that, etc., etc.”
- 17:10 I get emails like this all the time. I searched for their email address in my inbox. They’d never bought anything from me. They’d never supported anything I’d done.
- 17:19 What I see when I read that email is: Me. Me. Me. Me.
- 17:26 The classic phrase: “I’ve been following you for awhile.”
- 17:37 That’s not some form of currency. It actually costs me money. I pay for you to be on my email list, I pay for you to browse my webpages, I pay for you to download my podcasts.
- 18:02 Why am I telling you this? This is not to say “Oh, Sean’s so popular.” No. That’s not what this is about. I want to explain the predicament here. I want you to understand the position that someone you want to be with is in. I want to give you insight into that perspective and give you the resources and the tools and the methods to be able to reach those people more effectively. Instead of just cold-contacting them after not having bought or supported them in anything and just saying: “Me. Me. Me. Me.”
- 19:19 You have to have value to offer them.
- 20:39 Don’t confuse what is valuable to you as being something that is valuable to this person you want to be around.
- 21:03 You really have to consider what’s truly valuable to this person that you’re wanting to reach out to.
- 21:12 Full price or free. If you’re saying “Hey, can I take you out to coffee?” You’re basically giving them $4 for their advice. You’re effectively saying “Your advice is worth $4 to me.”
- The Problem With Giving So Much
- 23:13 I feel like a jerk when I say “No,” because I fear that I’m being mean or giving off the impression that you’re not worth my time. I hate that. I want to provide value, I want to be nice, and I want to be giving.
- 23:33 I talk about providing value and Relationship Marketing, but I came to a realization—there’s a problem when you do that. For instance:
- I give in my blog
- I give in my emails
- I give in my newsletters
- I give in my podcast
- I give in my meetings with the people I do mentor
- 28:42 Here’s the problem: When all you do is give, it builds trust and loyalty, yes, but it also results in people feeling like you are their friend. People feel like they know you so well that they think they are entitled to your time. They feel like you are a buddy and they can get a meeting with you under the guise of “friend benefits” when really what they are wanting is legitimate consulting.
- 29:06 Coaching and life advice is a SERVICE.
- 29:26 I worked extremely hard over the years to build my residual income so I don’t have to think about making bills every single day. I can spend all of my time giving all of my knowledge away.
- 29:46 I’d given so much that I was erroneously feeling like a jerk for not being able to give even more, but these people aren’t willing to compensate me. They’re wanting more of my time because they feel like I’m their friend. The problem is, I don’t know these people from Adam. I can’t give them “friend benefits”.
- 30:02 I do provide ways for people to compensate me. I don’t do podcast sponsorships, I have the Community. I provide more value behind a membership. If any one of my Community members emails me, I drop stuff to help them out with whatever they want. Why? Because they’re in the Community. Because they showed that they’re committed and they showed that they value what I have to offer by compensating me.
- 33:25 I’m tired of hearing the excuse of “I live in the middle of no where! I have no one near me.” Use Skype!
- 33:39 It doesn’t have to be in person. Join a community. Get around like-minded people.
- Getting With The 2nd Kind – People you know that have a success mindset:
- 34:21 Where are the intellectually stimulating conversations that you have? Have you ever gone somehwere and ended up having a really good conversation with someone where you were actually talking about real stuff and not some stupid piece of news? Hang on to those people! Set up times to meet those people immediately.
- 34:49 When those people say “We should get coffee sometime,” pull out your phone right there and get it on the calendar. Hash it out right then. If it takes 5 minutes, it takes 5 minutes. Put it on the calendar because you care. If you’re not doing that, then you don’t care.
- 35:17 Sure, reach out to the already successful people and offer compensation—don’t disrespect them. But if they’re not available, then maybe you’re shooting too high. Maybe there’s someone right above you that would be perfect for where you’re at.
- 35:38 Think about where you’re at right now and stop trying to shoot way out of your league. There’s a lot of people around you that can help you out and help you grow—and you need to find those people. Again, if you’re able to recognize those people, they will be a lot more available to you. And the closer you are to each other in level the more mutually beneficial that relationship is going to be and you’re not going to have to worry about compensation.
- 37:02 You’re all freeloaders. You’re trying to GET without GIVING. That’s not how this works. The point where you will experience a breakthrough in your business and in your career is when you learn the value of investing. The value of long-term investment.
- 38:20 Learn to invest in mentorship.
- 38:44 The $1,000 email.
- The Primary Value of Mentorship
- 42:31 Largely, you are receiving knowledge from your mentor. Yes, ideally you want to be able to talk to them and have them give you specific feedback, but to a significant degree, you are a sponge. Their primary value to you is the experience they impart.
- 43:18 This is why podcasts, videos, articles, and blogs are so incredibly beneficial. It’s not a 100% replacement for mentorship, but it gives you the most beneficial aspect of mentorship in that you at least get the important side of it: which is the listening.
- 43:57 “How do you say ‘No,’ without coming across rude or impolite?”
- 48:08 1. Sometimes you just have to ignore emails. People have to understand that they’re not unique in wanting time from you. If you want to reach out to a person, then a bunch of other people likely do for the same reasons. The reason that you want to seek them out is because they are doing something right—they’re giving value, they’re resonating with people, and being awesome in some regard enough to solicit a response. You’re not unique in wanting their attention.
- 48:51 2. Politely decline.
- 50:06 3. Point them to your paid offerings.
- 53:31 “How do you answer to freeloader friends (if you have any)?”
- 53:39 Best friends pay full price. I always offer to pay my friends. It’s super disrespectful to say “Oh, you do this for a living? Will you come do mine for free?” That’s not how you treat a friend. Any friends that disagree are no longer my friends.
- Accountability 101
- 54:36 Find the people that are going to enable you to succeed. Find people that will encourage you. You don’t want to just share your goals with everyone. Tell your goals only to people that will support you. You need to find those people in your life.
- 56:07 Accountability 101:
- It has to be regular.
- It has to be scheduled.
- The meeting needs to be structured.
- You absolutely need to TAKE NOTES.
- Be friendly, be human, but don’t waste time.
- Recap last week: how did it go with the thing you said you’d have completed by this meeting?
- What are you struggling with right now?
- What are you working on?
- What will you have done by the next time we talk?
- Take turns.
- Write down the commitments you both made.
Success is a mindset.
Who you are and who you want to be are two totally separate things.
It’s easy to define the steps required to get there. What’s hard is committing to practicing those steps every day.
That is what successful people do.
You value what you pay for.
Evaluate who you spend your time with: Who is taking your time? Who is wasting your time? Where are the intellectual conversations you have? Foster more of those.