Download: MP3 (55.2 MB)
We all want more time. Unfortunately, we’re all allotted the same amount of time each day. We fill time automatically, which means we don’t “find” time by chance.
All you have is the time you intentionally set aside. You make time by saying “no”—it’s the 2-letter secret to making time. When you choose to do one thing, you’re able to do it because you’re saying “no” to other things.
The only tool you have to create time is “No.” We do the things that are important to us, and the things we say “yes” to are the things that our actions are declaring as important.
We talk about how to say “no” if you’re a people-pleaser, why “no” is about more than just creating margin, and the reason you should be saying “no” even if you have an entirely blank day on your schedule.
- 07:43 Saying “no” is the only way to create time. If you’re not doing one thing, it’s because something else is more important to you.
- 08:05 You may claim something you’re doing isn’t important to you because you don’t want to do it, but in some way you did allow it into your life.
- 08:17 You may be feeling like you have information overload, notification overload, or work overload, but you are inviting these things into your life. Everything that is in your life and everything that is on your plate is a result of you allowing it. You said “yes” at some point to something.
- 09:47 “What can I do about it though?”
- 09:50 You’re going to have to start saying “no.” Saying “no” could look like a lot of things:
- Saying “no” to compromise.
- Saying “no” to bad clients.
- Saying “no” to good things, so you can say yes to great things.
- Saying “no” to opportunities like:
- collaborating with someone you admire.
- using someone else’s platform.
- Saying “no” to potential time-wasters like:
- video games.
- going out with friends.
- 11:21 This is difficult for people-pleasers.
- 11:50 Finding the purpose for your “no.”
- 12:02 Asking yourself questions can give you the purpose that you need to say “no”:
- Am I spending enough time with my spouse?
- Am I spending enough time with my kids?
- Am I spending enough time with my family?
- Am I spending enough time to be healthy as a person (physically, mentally, spiritually)?
- Am I giving myself enough margin?
- 12:42 The problem is, people think any amount of margin is a luxury. Margin is a necessity. Margin is a requirement. You want to have a minimum amount of margin that you protect.
- 13:41 The fear of silence and the problem with thinking of margin as a void that must be filled.
- 15:57 Taking care of yourself is most important. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.
- 17:06 The answers to the above questions gives you the purpose for saying the “no.” What’s important to me right now? What do I want to focus on right now?
- 18:14 How much time and energy is it going to take to say “yes” to something?
- 18:58 The “Gut Check” test:
- 22:31 The more things you say “yes” to, the lower the quality of all of your other output. Everything else you do decreases in quality when you say “yes” to something new. You’re adding more onto your plate and you’re adding more that you have to focus on. We can’t multitask—multitasking is a myth. We’re diverting our attention to one more thing which inevitably decreases the quality of everything else we’re working on.
- 23:10 How much do you care about the quality of the things you already said “yes” to?
- 25:12 Beyond margin, saying “no” allows you to increase the quality of everything in your life—the kind of clients you get, the type of work that you do, your standards of living. A lot of people think you should take on whatever work you can get, but that never leads to quality work. Saying “yes” to a bunch of bad jobs is never going to lead to being able to say “yes” to good jobs.
- 26:24 If you’re thinking “I can’t afford to say ‘no,'” then you’re in the wrong place. You have to set yourself up to be able to say “no.” That might mean being in a day job to support yourself. You have to be in the position to be able to say “no” to the wrong type of clients.
- 28:46 If you’re the type of person that wants to please other people, look at it this way: You want to be able to please the people that matter to you. In order to be able to do that, you need to say “no” to pleasing these other people on things that don’t matter. If you’re spreading yourself so thin that you’re not really able to help the people that matter (or the things that matter), then you’re doing yourself and everyone else a disservice.
- 29:51 Stand up for yourself with employers too. Set some ground rules and have some respect for yourself. Your employer will have more respect for you as a result (either that or they’ll make it very clear that you’re in the wrong place).
- 32:35 Saying “no” but leaving the door open.
- 34:18 Your actions are what determines what is important to you. You can say that certain things are important to you all you want, but unless you’re saying “yes” to them and saying “no” to the things around them then it’s not important to you.
- 35:41 Saying “no” gives you credits to say “yes.”
- 40:09 “How do you make the switch? Are you either a Short Term person or a Long Term person?”
- 42:37 “Yes” fills time. “No” makes time.
Imagine saying “yes” and immediately assess how you feel in your gut.